How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Justin Beiber has fame, his own bodyguards, he has performed many shows and has everyone's attention. What do you have? A penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q.Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I don't were my cleats on my trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

whats gay and american? a gay american

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

steve walked into a bar, what happened next? A: He fell down.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

a man with a scar on his right hand walked in to a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x z y.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q. How can you find true love? A. Google it...duh

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats blue and flufft Answer: Blue Fluff

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A moose walks into a store, walking up to an employee he says "Where are the potatoes?" The employee replies "Isle 5." The moose thanks the employee and heads off to find Isle 5. Upon reaching isle 5- he finds no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A father and his son get into an accident and are whisked away to the hospital. The father dies, and the son is brought into surgery. The doctor is rushed in, but looks at the boy and says "I can operate on this boy, his my son." How is this possible? The boy's father was a zombie.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops