I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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curtis campbell has no ear lobes so he bought some milk and drank it with his cereal.

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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What are kids supposed to do in American classrooms if a nuke hits nearby? Hide under the desk. (This is a fact) Moral: Like that is gonna help... seriously that is ridiculous!

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Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

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What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

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What's the square root of yo mama? That which when multiplied by itself equals yo mama.

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Why did the puerto rican cross the road? To get back to his country, but then he realized there wasn't a road then fell in the ocean and drowned.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Try and teach her the finer points of Quantum Physics without allowing her to take any notes, and then test her on it.

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What is worse than getting hit by a car? Getting hit by a truck

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I haven't read and I don't agree to the Terms of Service

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Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

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What do you call flashlight in an Asian kids room what ever the brand is

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A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

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What is black white and red all over A tree in black, white, and red paint.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Arms and legs, NOT GET IN MY MINIVAN!

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I've got 99 problems and they're all stressing me out and causing me to be very unhappy.

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If Michelle rides her bike at 15 mph for 20 minutes and Erik rides his bike at 20 mph for 12 minutes, why is Michelle not in the kitchen?

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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