roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

Want to hear a dirty joke? The horse fell in the mud

How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

Why should you be scared when a black man asks you, "What are looking at?" Because if he is over the age of 18, he should know better than to end a sentence with a preposition, unless of course, he never had an education, in which case... you should probably run for your life.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

How do you make sure a kangaroo gets the right breakfast? Make sure it doesn't get the wrong breakfast

What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

Did you here about the guy who kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter? Well, he died

Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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