Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

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how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

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What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

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What's black and white and red all over? Half of a zebra.

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

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womens rights.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

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What do you call a person who kills there own child? Casey Anthony.

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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What happened to the frog that broke down? It got toad.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

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What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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I flipped through the Yellow Pages, made a few calls, and found the Chinese man I was looking for.

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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Whats worse than passing out drunk and having your friends draw on your face? When you die of alcohol poisoning in the morning

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops