What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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How many people does it take to make a fun party? Idk, that's why I asked you, you see I'm throwing a party and wantedto know how many people I should invite.

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

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"I have a job perfromance review today!" Earl told his wife. "Good luck, I will make you a special dinner tonight," Melinda, his wife, responded.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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I'm Polish.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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Why is Texas so hot? The sun

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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#IHateHashtags

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What's black and red? I black guy bleeding to death

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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