Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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Your mom.

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a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

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Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

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Why are the black people in Africa dying? Because the poverty rate is high and they don't have enough money to by simple things like medicine and mosquito nets to prevent AIDS, Malaria, and other infectious diseases.

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Q: What is harder than cleaning off baby bloodstains off a wall? A: Cleaning multiple baby blood stains off a wall.

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Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Crazy Rhinoceros

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Ask me if I am a Truck Are You a Truck No

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

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A man walks off the top of a very tall building. Why did he fall off? Because he was blind

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Why did an old man cause a car accident? He gotf a heart attack.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

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A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

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*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

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Colin Fry backwards is yrF niloC

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Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

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knock knock Whos there? (the boy who knocked proceeds to run away with laughter)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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