Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

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KNOCK KNOCK WHOSE THERE? AVOCADO AVOCADO WHO AVOCADO COLD THAT'S A RETARD JOKE HAHAHAHAHA GOOD 1

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

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A chicken walks into McDonalds. He never comes out because he got grilled, greased, and seasoned.

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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Q: What did the racoon say to the cow? A: Nothing, because neither have the extansive intillect to speak in a manner that the other would understand.

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You can lead a horse to water, and you can pick your friends, but you can't sneeze with your eyes open.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

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Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest for drug trafficking and possession of illegal firearms. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say...

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What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

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Whats worse than dropping your ice cream cone Your dad having brian cancer

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Q:whats the difference between grass and a car? A:They all have wheels, except the grass

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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Chlamydia

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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What is lil Wayne's real name? Dwayne micheal carter jr.

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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