My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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your mumma so fat when she stepped on the scales it said her phone number

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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Why did the Muslim kill a gay guy? Because the gay guy was threatening his family with a gun.

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Imaj. Imaj who? Haha, you're a Jew.

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your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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So, a monkey walks ino a bar... I can't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother is a whore.

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What do a Nazi and a Democrat have in common? They are both members of a highly supported political faction.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

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roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

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what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

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Roses r Red Violets r Blue I'm schizophrenic So am i too!

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Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops