What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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Your mother is so fat, that making fun if her is a terrible thing to do.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What's the difference between a smashed watermelon and a dead black person? One is a minor slip of the hands and the other is a fatal accident involving a human being.

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Obama

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Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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how hungry am i? well im as hungry a starving kid in africa!!!!

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Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

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Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

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How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

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How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

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Guy 1: Why did Captain Hook die? Guy 2: Because he wiped his anus with a hook? Guy 1: No, because everyone dies.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asks the bartender. "I'm a horse, it's genetic." replied the horse, confused at the bartender's infantile understanding of evolution and other species.

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knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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