He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medication prescribed by her doctor.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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Did you know that Claire Seiter likes to drinkapplseiter? No. Oh well she does..

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Man walks into an apple store. Shortly after he leaves with a fully charged phone.

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Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

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Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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There was a boy and..........his dad said to go to the store to get his daily thing.........he went to the store and bought it......he came home and said.....HERE ARE THE EGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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What did the black guy get for Christmas? (In 1938) A bruise from the Klu Klux Klan.

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What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Silence. Silence who? No, I meant there was silence, I didn't really say anything. Oh, OK. But seriously, who's there?

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Get in the car."

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Why doesn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it makes him mean.

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

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Yo momma stank so bad, she might have a serious vaginal infection. You should take her to the hospital.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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