Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing ? Because she lost her balance and the force of gravity put upon her was too great for her to bear, resulting in her fall.

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A frog jumped on the lilly pad, it sank and drown and all of the tadpoles didn't have a mother and inevitably died

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Why did rachels computer break ? Because she was using it in the road and got hit by a bus

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs Mat

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If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

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What is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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A man buys cocaine from a shady dealer in an alley. He then goes home and experiments with it and other chemicals, and later on invents Coca Cola

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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This man was known to beat his wife alot, To the car door to open it for her...

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Why was the chinese man kicked out of the bar? Because he was under aged

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Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

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Q: How many Jews can you fit in a 4-seater car? A: 4

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How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

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Your mum is SO fat... She died of a heart attack

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Knock Knock!! . . (There is no response as nobody's home)

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hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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-What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? -Slap HER!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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