Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

What goes in and out of a hole? A Rabbit you people have dirty minds!

I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

A: Knock Knock B: The door is open please come in.

One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

What did the farmer say to the other farmer? We are both farmers.

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

What do apples and black men both have in common? They are both people except for the apple

why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...