Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who grants them three wishes. The brunette wishes to go back home. The redhead wishes to go back home too. The blonde misses her friends, so she wishes to go back home too.

whats the difference between a black man playing basketball and a white man playing basketball? They are different races

How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have alzheimer's Hey I just met you Coopn8r

Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

Why did Billy run away from a mysterious adult? He was playing the iconic game known as tag where 2+ people chase each other in an attempt to tag them.

why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

Why did the train stop? - It was surrounded by elephants

What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

What do you call somebody who votes for Donald Trump? A voter. What do you call somebody who votes for Hillary Clinton? A voter.

Why did the bus crash? Because the bus driver was a potato.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Since when is it any of your business? Cant we live in a world where chickens can cross the road freely without having there motives questioned?

Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

A black man walks into a bar and he orders a margarita. The bartender says that the margaritas are exceptionally delicious in this bar. He was right.

Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To return to the roost he had recently escaped.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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