What happens when you give a fat man scissors? He cuts off the foreskin of your penis.

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There's a black man in my family tree. Therefore, I could be considered biracial.

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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=3

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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What did Santa say when he fell down? Ouch

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your mother is so fat that she probably watches her calorie intake every day

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not?

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

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How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

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Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Why was the black man crying? His wife left him, took his children, and most of his possessions in the divorce.

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Not Ann Frank because she died in the Holocaust along with 6 million other innocent people.

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-Knock Knock? -Who's There? -David Baxter. -David Baxter Who? -Wha- What? What do you mean "David Baxter who?" We were best friends in high school. YOU WERE THE BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING!! *David Baxter proceeds to cry, as he doesn't know of his dear friend's Alzheimer's disease*

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

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What is orange and annoying? A purple potato.

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If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops