A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

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Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

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Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

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What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

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A man walked into a bar. He then sat down and ordered a drink.

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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You're so vein you are probably a tube that conveys blood from various parts of the body to the heart.

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What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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What do you call a cow with no legs A cow with no legs.

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wenis

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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A guy said a racist joke and he got beat up now he is in the hospital for what he said.

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knock knock. who's there? me. me who? shut up im robbing you.

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Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

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Q: what comes after 69? A: 70

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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