What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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Whats brown and ryhmes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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Yo mama so ugly... she has an extremely bad burn on her face.

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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2 mentally, unstable , woman visit the cinema , and watched "The Sweeney,"they really enjoyed it

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Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sarah!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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Why was the Jew evicted from his home? He forgot to pay the rent

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A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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