A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

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whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

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Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

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A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

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What's sad about three black men in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? They were my friends.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

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What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

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I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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