Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

no

What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting a needle shoved up your penis and it scrapes the insides of your balls open so that all of the sperm pours out of your balls and you are screaming in agony and you can never have children in the future.

I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

What do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A pilot.

why was the asian kid the only one to get an A+ in the test? He spent the longest time studying and was therefore better prepared than the other students.

An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

why did bill gates sue his banks? Because he can

yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

Want to hear a joke? Obama

Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

Whats the leading cause of death Life.

Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

Dog is walking through a park and is almost stepped on by a horse. Dog says, "Hey, watch where you're going!" Horse says, "Well, looky here! A talking dog!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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