Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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Your moms so fat she weighs 200 kilograms

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Why did the black guy go to jail? Because he committed an illegal crime.

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why did the boy drop his bus because he was hit by an ice cream

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Why was the fat kid the last one to lunch? He'd had lead bricks stapled to his ankles by the skinny kids.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm extremely unstable. And So are you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's been bound and gagged by kidnappers who are holding her for ransom.

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What do you call three black guys in a bar? A bar.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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What did the astronaut say when he stepped on the moon? Oops, sorry.

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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Why are hurricanes named after women? They're wet and wild when they come and take your car and house when they leave.

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How ma......

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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Don't make my new Nazi friend upset, or he'll be Fuhrerious

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Jordan is pregant

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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