How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

What did the coconut say to the lizard? Nothing, the coconut fell off the tree and killed the lizard.

why did the circus boy not do his homework? because he was in a coma.

Why are Asians good at Math? Because they are bad at English.

hahahahahah http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=sonny+bartlett&hl=en&sa=X&tbm=isch&tbnid=s37cS73V74A8YM:&imgrefurl=http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCASl7llFhDpTF8vwjDlGI_g/videos&docid=kJoLzGiYRM-2AM&itg=1&imgurl=https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-si7_hCcHI7E/AAAAAAAAAAI/AAAAAAAAAAA/HzlEl3ilyyM/s55-c-k/photo.jpg&w=55&h=55&ei=GrgsUZ_kJqac0AWExIC4BQ&zoom=1&biw=1024&bih=616&iact=rc&dur=188&sig=111947294788926856610&page=1&tbnh=55&tbnw=55&start=0&ndsp=20&ved=1t:429,r:9,s:0,i:109&tx=27&ty=11

Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

And you honored it I see :P

What's worse than the Holocaust? A worm in your apple.

what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

There's this Priest, a Rabbi and a Preacher talking about how similar they are.

What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

A jew goes into a church. Yolo.

I completely thought you where bullshitting me, how come I never noticed before? How and why?

what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

Two men walked into a bar. Only one came out. What happened? One Passed out.

Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

Imagine that we take all of the elephants in the world and laid them out end to end in space Did you know all of the elephants would die Nature fact

roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

Why is Coldplay really big in Japan? They're tall guys.

What did the cute little girl get for Christmas? Raped

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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