- Anti Joke

So, why won't the blonde date the Asian guy? Because she's afraid of commitment.

What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

How do you keep a black man from hanging around your tree? You cut the rope.

What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

A bunch of nuns were riding a three-seat bicycle. The seats were comfy and no one complained.

An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

Can anyone Lenin money?

Once upon a time a was born

whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Why did the black guy buy a jug of grape soda Because he was thirsty

To you to which this may concern: Nero Septimus, known as Nero7, left me in charge of the order, while I know many do not consider me a worthy leader, I share if but one trait except humanity with Nero7, I could not care less about what you care about me, you WILL follow me if you want, and likewise GTFO if you do not, Nero7 told me that his mistake was allowing too many people follow him half assed, taking advantage of his wisdom and then mock him for the advice that was beyond what you where able to understand... ...It is this that led to the downfall of the old order, all we can do now, is to gather those of you that want to follow me, his chosen successor to the letter, or I will kick your fucking ass out of the Order, because as you do know if you listened: "We do not do mistakes, if we accept that what we are actually making, are experiences, then we have simply learned something new, and if said experience is unpleasant, we accept that we have simply learned how to never experience it again" So I will allow no one to take advantage of me, to laugh behind my back, not without breaking your skull, and allowing you to watch as I shut your family inside your own home, and set fire to it, Treat me well and we can together design our future to our liking, treat me bad, and your future on earth ends where you stand, zero tolerance, so consider your actions well... ...This as I will rather follow my ancestors line alone, than with scum like those of you that react in shock as you read this statement, remember that it was your own goddamn fault that he died, and that while he never told us his true age because he did not know himself, this was because he was beaten so badly as a kid, that he one day lost much of his memory... To the contrary of common belief, he was merely 31 years old according to several tests, and despite many of your comments, his IQ which he never shared because he just as me believes if fucking bullshit, was of 178, a fucking genius, to those of you that are fucking stupid enough to care... ...Those of you that are NOW going "OMG HE WAS TRULY A GENIUS BECAUSE OF A FUCKING NUMBER!" Will NEVER RETURN if you are concerned for your life and the safety of your family. I might not wear an fist made of steel, but as all of those of you that attended to his funeral and read his last will, the order is no longer a place for those that want to follow me half assedly. In other words, those that want to follow me, are from today under my rule, and I need no said prosthetic, because I will not only lead, but also rule with an iron fist. For what you allowed to happen, which cost the life of many of out kin, including the one of our wise young and talented leader, I expect absolutely no one to return to our last stronghold at the hour you can fucking decipher yourself from this statement alone. ...So know that if you respected the greatest leader there where, you will follow me, and that since our order has no room for failure, those that might return and "fail" to follow the new rules, the new order, will either willingly face the consequences which consist of very unpleasant experiences and then leave, or not meet up at all. I need none of those that failed our great leader whose failures led to his death and the death of countless of our own kin, so my goal will be finding new people, this does not mean that those willing to bow down before me and tell me you have learned from your fucking mistakes, will not be given a chance anew. Still ladies and gentlemen formerly of the order of old, know that I am not alone, know that while we are few, we still consist of those that would never dare laugh his back, and that we are powerful enough to grow beyond what the rest of humanity has, and will ever see, And that if you decide to follow us, the council, and me as its leader, then neither you will be alone. We accept mistakes, nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes, but accepting failure, and failing to follow us on purpose, will cost you far more, than what you alone can pay with. "If we fall, we rise again wiser and stronger, having learned by our experiences, for what are we, if we keep making those experiences does not matter, what matters is knowing that if we do the same mistakes, we will one day be no more" Nero Septimus,

have you seen Helen Keller's bird house? neither has she

So a Priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the bar... And got drinks. What did you think was going to happen?

Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? That feels quite good.

what did the man say to then other man when he said a joke, "Ha"

A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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