A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

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What did the text-to-speech reader say when the 12 year old boy played around with it? "Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass."

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Q:What business did the black man break into? A: The business of show, because he was a talented actor.

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What do you get when you cross a taco with a a bungee cord? An inedible taco.

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Q: what do you get when you mix a bull dog and a shiitzu? A: a dog

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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Why did William commit suicide? Because his grandmother had recently died of terminal cancer. His mother left him on the front step when he was two, and moved to Tennessee with her baby daddy.

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Q:what do you call someone who spends 7 hours a day playing video games? A: Someone who takes pride and joy from gaming

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Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

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What is the difference between a pillow and a rock The rock could hert you.

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What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

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Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

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Duke Nukem censored line: What are you waiting for? the celebration of the day you crucified Jesus and ate his flesh and blamed it upon the anti christ because of... Victory? Because you know Jesus gave his life in order to prove that he was immortal and died for your sins because his life is eternal... Satan your Moral Man: Nah, lets just go with "what are you waiting for, christmas?" Now go celebrate you murdering your savior which said "ill be back" on the cross and returned three days later at his second coming? Seriously? I thought only Jesus: The guy that was totally an ARAB (deny it and be consumed in the flames of hell, not my problem), and Jesus: strikes back came out, where can I get Jesus: The third coming? Factoid: Yeah Jesus was totally a blonde haired white man which went clothed in the finest ARYAN silks, in addition he only drove in his MUSTANG 9001 and smoked Lucky Strike... Which did nothing for his luck...

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whats long and black on a black guy slavery

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he got hit by a car because he wasn't aware of the dangers of not looking both ways. Bufoon

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What happens when a girl sticks her head in a birthday cake? She gets a toothpick stuck in her eyebrow. Trust me..I know.

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why did the boy drop the ball. he was shot in the head.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Where did Susie go during the bombings? Susie was wandering around the streets as she felt like she didn't know where she was any more. Everything was burnt to ashes. She came across a man who she has never met. He tells her to follow him. She did.Later, Susie, the mysterious man and a few other people with him were in a private meeting room. The mysterious man tells Susie that he was a Frenchman and he was with the resistance. A few minutes later, the bombs were dropping everywhere. The meeting room was destroyed and Susie, the Frenchman and his men were under attack. The French resistance were about to fight, but retreated - for they were French. Susie was left, lying there as she saw a bomb in the sky about to land on her. She tried to get up and run, but the bomb was too fast. It got her. So yeah. Susie went everywhere, like you lot said.

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What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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