Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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why did the girl slap joe? he had a boner.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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Your mom's so fat... she probably needs to go on some sort of diet to avoid a serious heart condition and inevetible death

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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What did enzo give courtney for her 69th birthday? A cake that looked like a pussy cat named kyle

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

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What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

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What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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