A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who grants them three wishes. The brunette wishes to go back home. The redhead wishes to go back home too. The blonde misses her friends, so she wishes to go back home too.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

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What did the grape say to the bannana? Nothing.

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I wrote a funny joke.

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What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

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Guy 1:Whats the difference between a towel and toilet paper? Guy2: I dont know Guy : SO IT WAS YOU!

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

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Why didn't the man walk done the stairs? Because he had no legs

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Frontbut-

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nick Oh hi Nick come in

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did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

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im not black, im Joseph Kony

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops