Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because black people are usually stronger than chicken. If they weren't, chickens would probably eat fried black people.

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You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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I saw 2 jews talking. I threw in a penny and watched them fight to the death. I did the same with 2 catholic preasts exept I threw in a baby boy

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PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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What's the difference between a snake, and a lawyer? A snake cannot comprehend law, nor can one attend law school and set up an office. They are also different species.

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

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Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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