What happens when a gay guy and a hillbilly enter at the same bar togather? a police dog nation gards and a priest had to stop the abomination.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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Why was billy sad because in the morning he witnessed his mom get stabbed in the throat repeatedly by a clown then he saw the clown in the cop car but his mask was off and it turned out to be billys dad

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy, was he? No, because he had cancer.

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I'm Polish.

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If i was gay... I would have strong sexual feelings towards peolple of the same sex as me

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Why did the boy fail the test? He had down syndrome.

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two men are in a bathroom (note they are not in the same stall) the guy on the left says how are you and the guy on the right says hold on im pooping.

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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What's the worst thing about gang rape? Going last.

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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why did jenny drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock who's there? not jenny.

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If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

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why did the person die? He was 90 years old and was sick. Its natural

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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What rhymes with ten? Rape..... What rhymes with boat? Float.....

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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