What is worse than torture? Not much.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing, but he did purchase whiskey with the little money he had to drink away his misery, and to suppress his suicidal thoughts that were a result of his alcoholism which stemmed from his father's abusive nature.

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

Your mom is so fat that she actually had a pretty hard time finding a husband.

Q: What's worse than ten babies tied to ten trees? A: One baby tied to ten trees.

An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither did she.

I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

A black man is like a sledge hammer; if you compare him to a sledge hammer, he will hit you with a sledge hammer.

What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

Hey how is your wife and my kids

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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