A man walks into a bar. Realizing he forgot his ID, he leaves.

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whats green and smells like red paint? green paint

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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How did the man open the car? He opened in.

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Yo Momma's so fat......... that she should probably start eating healthy and exercising more regularly or else she may be at risk of developing heart disease or diabetes

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Your mother is so stupid because as a child, she was unable to keep up with what was being taught as she unfortunately had a learning disability.

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why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

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So you are a giggler huh? You ticklish too? Anyway, you ever watched Deathnote? I was gonna ask something kinda important but it disappeared, so you tell me stuff first. Oh, my parents? Well, they where nice and sweet, but lets talk about something cruel and horrible. (If you switch up nice and sweet with cruel and horrible and the opposite, you will get the picture I am trying to pain here) What makes me so much more interesting huh? And why are you afraid you may look like an Alien? HEEEEEY! I am a legal citizen and I am not freaking Mexican!

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Why are all the dinosaurs extinct? Because you touch yourself at night,

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YO MAMA'S SO , A STUPID, THAT SHE PUT 2 QUARTERS IN HER EARS AND THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS LISTENING TO FIFTY-CENT!!!

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whats an aids victims last wish not to have aids

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why did the black person cross the road to get to his lynched sister

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Pretty vague, if I did not know you, Id conclude you where working for some mob syndicate or something.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke....? A pig rolling in mud!

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench A bench can support a family of five

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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How do you make a black plumber cry? - kill his whole family

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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Why did the blond girl walk into the street pole? Because she wasn't paying attention.

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why did the geman man hit the jewish man? because the jewish man swung a punch at the german man so it was an act of self defense.

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Why did the american block the road? Because he just ate at Mc donalds.

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The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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