Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

Why did you chicken cross the road? C u n t.

Josh Moran peels off his foreskin while watching gay porn.

whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

will you like this joke my sources say no

Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

A black man, a jew, a hispanic, and an asian are the only survivors of a plane crash, and end up on a deserted island, what do they do? Die.

I SAID I WANT A GLASS OF JUICE. NOT I WANT TO GAS THE JEWS!-hitler

What do you get when you cross a bungie cord and an owl? My ass :)

How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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