Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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What is James Miller's real name? James Miller.

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I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120mph car crash

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Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

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An Arab walks into a bar. He doesn't explode, and has a fun time with his friends.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

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What do you call an horse? A horse, because horse does not start with a vowel and that would be grammatically incorrect.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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2 Priests and a Monk walk into a bar, All 3 were stabbed to death in a bar fight.

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what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Why was the drunk person arrested? He said to a police officer "I'm gay, so shut up you b****."

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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How do you perform CPR on a black person. OK, first come down. I wish I could ask why you turned to Anit Jokes.com to ask this question, but this is serious. First, check for any air blockages using two fingers, then...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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