Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the kangaroo die? Because two stapled koalas fell on its head.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Johnny could pass Mike the sauce as he has no arms and Mike kept on asking as he has short onset alzheimer's.

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You killed my brother and call me the antichrist? Its lovable: Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the **** are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming? He died for their sins, not for yours... WELCOME TO HELL!

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

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Hey I Just Met You And This Is Crazy But I Am Pregnant And It's Yhur Baby ~GotDemChoozen

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally Sally who? Haha I'm just kidding, I'm Jorge.

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

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can you pass the soap?

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An arab says allahu akbar, people respect him as he is pronouncing his religion in his place of worship

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A guy says to a palm reader "You look like you've seen a ghost. Palm reader replies "You've got cum on your hand."

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why was the witch in the broom factory? she was recently employed there and is loving her job maing brooms

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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What would George Washington be doing if he was alive today? Scratching and screaming at the bottom of his coffin.

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Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

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What is white and flies upwards? A retarded Snowflake.

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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I C U P White stuff

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A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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