You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Nothing is as strong as love, Except a nuclear warhead that can destroy entire cities! :P thoko like :D ~~k0mradey``

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why is there no gambling in Africa? Because there's no money in Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a serial killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walked into the woods with alzheimers......pancakes

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red Violets are blue There's nothing else I want to say

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops