- Anti Joke

Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

A guy walks into a doughnut shop and says "I'll have a small coffee and a doughnut." The shop keeper says, "I'm sorry we ran out of coffee." The guy says, "All right I'll just have coffee than"

Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

ugvvvvvv

If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

Jake snow steals ideas he doesn't make them up

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

A man walks off the top of a very tall building. Why did he fall off? Because he was blind