What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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My grandfather died in a Nazi Death Camp. He fell off a watch tower.

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What did the sign say? It said slow down

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Why did george washington not make it to the prom? because george washington is dead

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's black white and red all over A Nun after being pushed down the stairs

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

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This is supposed to be an anti-joke.

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had cancer. Why was Little Sally crying? Little Billy's cancer was contagious.

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What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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