- Anti Joke

I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry".

How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

A white man walks into a bar. Then he gets a beer.

Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

If Chuck Norris has $5, and you have $5, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.

What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

How do you make sure a kangaroo gets the right breakfast? Make sure it doesn't get the wrong breakfast

Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

Why did the chicken cross the road...

Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

Which deranged adventurer thinks that (one`s unprotected cranium) is stronger than (a brick structure) Mario. he keeps bashing his head on blocks in attempts to prove his own worth

Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

Why did the child not go to his mother's funeral? He was adopted, he didn't know his real mom.

Knock know! Who's there? Aids! Aids who? Aids! Aids who? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I'm not aids!

What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

There are 3 prisoners inside a cage. All the prisoners are blind folded and wearing hats. They are told there are 5 hats all together, 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. If one of them can answer what color hat they are wearing they are all set free. However, they have no idea what color hat they are wearing, only what color hat the other prisoners are wearing. They are also not allowed to tell what color the others are wearing. So the game begins: The first prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the first prisoner says "I don't know." The second prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the second prisoner says the same thing, "I don't know" Now the third prisoner didn't even need to take off his blind fold. He already knew the answer. He said, "Sir, I know I am wearing a red hat" The guard smiled and all the prisoners are set free. Why? If the first prisoner saw the other prisoners blue hats then he knows he's wearing a red hat because there are only 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. But he sees one guy wearing blue and one guy wearing red, so he says "I don't know." The second prisoner took off his blind fold and the same thoughts occur. If he saw the other prisoners wearing all 2 blue hats, then he knows he's wearing red. Instead, he sees one guy wearing a blue hat and the other guy wearing a red hat. So he says "I don't know" Now the third prisoner doesn't even need to take off his blind fold. Why? He heard the other prisoners saying they don't know, which led him to believe that all they saw was blue and red hats. That means if he takes of his blind fold he will see that both of the previous prisoners will be wearing blue hats and since there are only 2 blue hats available, he must be wearing a red hat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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