Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

whats worse than ur granny dying? uhhh...actually theres nothing is worse

If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: None. Woodchucks do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grasp or throw anything, so the point is moot unless they evolve thumbs for the sole purpose of chucking wood.

A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

Why is SkrillEX bad at fishing? S EX

Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a prostitute. I have a dollar.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I've lost my tractor!

Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaust

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

roses are red violets are blue i have some cheese im going to eat it

What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

How do you drown a blonde. Put a scratch 'n' sniff at the bottom of a pool.

what do you call a kid named kid. kid

What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

Knock Knock Who's there? Police officer Police officer who? Police officer your whole family died in a car wreck last night.

What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

WNBA

what did the homeless person get for Cristmas? nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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