What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen property that you should return immediately because the consequences of shop-lifting can prevent you from getting a good job and might land you in prison.

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A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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Knock knock Get off my porch homo

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

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NO I AM NEROCHAN LEFT!

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why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

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what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

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What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

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What would you call it if Justin Bieber had sex with a woman? Sex, because thats what it is.

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Nero, sure you are okay?

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What did the fish want to drink? Charlie Brown

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Q.How Do You Make 7 People Laugh? A.Tell Them a Good Joke.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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XD, You must really like me Nero, do you think people have problems telling us apart here?

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why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

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Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 and 7 are non-living objects and cannot show fear or anger.

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Knock knock. Whose there? No one, I'm trying to tell a knock knock joke.

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What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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