Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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So this man is walking down the street. Just walking. Nothing wrong. Suddenly a giant whirlpool appears in the street. The man is sucked in and the whirlpool disappears. Everything's fine right? Right? Yeah, he wanted to die. So every things okay? NOPE. He left the oven on.

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Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

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What is wrong with black stereotypes? Nothing! Basketball is pretty fun if you try it!

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A lysdexic man trys to rite a joek... the people who tried reading it got confused and offered help in rewriting it.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

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A raccoon walks into a bar. He then proceded to bite 3 people before animal control got him. A black man, hispanic man and an asian man. Later they all walked to the hospital and were treated for rabies, they were all fine as rabies is normally not fatal when caught early. Moral- this story is racist cause the white man was completely unharmed, DONT DISCRIMINATE!

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

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why did the T-Rex eat the other dinosaur? Because it is a carnivorous animal.

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What's big, yellow and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A JCB!

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Why did the faggot cross the road? Because he was a faggot.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

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What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? This is no time to make insensative jokes you dick, Billy's on a hospital bed.

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a drunk man got 3 beers and a 5 whiskys

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What did the doctor say to the minority, parapalegic after he barely escaped a fire alive? You just got burned!!

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What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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*knock knock* i have diarrhea

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What's green and has wheels? Your mom.

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knock knock who's there? me josh! come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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