Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

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1 tip for a flat belly so eating so much u fat bitch

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour hot soup on his head.

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You know how I know you're gay? Because you came out to your close family and friends, who were all very respectful and accepting.

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? His car was parked across the street.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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Want to hear a dirty joke? The horse fell in the mud

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How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

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Q. A couple went on a boat. The boat sank. Every single person died, who survied? A. The couple.

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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Why cant the guy drink his beer Because he hasnt opened it yet

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops