how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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A hispanic priest with a huge boner walks into a bar.

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Duke Nukem censored line: What are you waiting for? the celebration of the day you crucified Jesus and ate his flesh and blamed it upon the anti christ because of... Victory? Because you know Jesus gave his life in order to prove that he was immortal and died for your sins because his life is eternal... Satan your Moral Man: Nah, lets just go with "what are you waiting for, christmas?" Now go celebrate you murdering your savior which said "ill be back" on the cross and returned three days later at his second coming? Seriously? I thought only Jesus: The guy that was totally an ARAB (deny it and be consumed in the flames of hell, not my problem), and Jesus: strikes back came out, where can I get Jesus: The third coming? Factoid: Yeah Jesus was totally a blonde haired white man which went clothed in the finest ARYAN silks, in addition he only drove in his MUSTANG 9001 and smoked Lucky Strike... Which did nothing for his luck...

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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What do you call a man with no legs, arms, or a head? A torso.

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what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

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How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

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your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

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A horse walks into a bar the bartender says "Why the long face?" and the horse said "My wife died of terminal cancer"

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya" the man replies: "whisky."

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

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A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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In a joke book: So a man walks into a bar. Suddenlly the universe around the author crack. Unable to sustain the infinite potential of punchlines, the author tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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My favorite color is Ham. And I can count to Potato.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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