What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did John get hard? He froze to death

thumb_up thumb_down +31

So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +31

One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

No soup for you!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the mexican firefighter name his kids? Jose and Pablo

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the blind man have a poo Because he needed one.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops