i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is a escaped mental patient that thinks 6 betrayed him

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A gay man goes out with a butch lesbian and develops a loving relationship, years later they get married and have kids, adopting them from the local orphanage and lives happily ever after.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was Timmy crying when he got home? His family was dead in a pile with a pitchfork going through each of their bodies

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how do you piss off a dyslexic? give him a crossword puzzle

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the black man walk into the white house? Cause he lives there because he is our president

thumb_up thumb_down -13

your mama's so fat... that's it

thumb_up thumb_down -13

In Kentucky...your grandmother rapes you.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

guy walks into a bar, ouch

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Who the hell is Femi Otedola?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Having a self-conscious baluga hold a gun on you while you hand him all the money you have on you, then realizing balugas are creatures indigenous to aquatic regions, and then realizing you are deep under water and are probably about to die from suffocation

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did andy fall down Because his friend pushed him over

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black man walks out of a police station

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops