y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My wife is dying of terminal brain cancer."

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Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

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"My CiOCK is bigger!" "No! My CiOCK is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger DiICK.

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What did enzo give courtney for her 69th birthday? A cake that looked like a pussy cat named kyle

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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What do you call a fake noodle An impasta

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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why did the girl slap joe? he had a boner.

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what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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how many flys in a box six --sticksack

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roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

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What is colored and looks good hanging from trees? Oranges. Get your mind out of the gutter!

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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What Did The Farmer Say When He Lost His Tractor.... "Wheres My Tractor"

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops