Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

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Why did the boy chuck a fridge at the other boy? Because he broke his toy train.

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Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by an 18 wheeler Knock knock Whos there not sally

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Facilitator huh? Sounds like someone that kills someone standing in the way, or bribes off others.

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Why do I write Anit-jokes. Because I'm very bad at delevering good punchlines. They generally fall flat.

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find the o 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duh its up top

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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Ron Paul for President!

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Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

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A dog walks into a bar, the dog is assisting his blind owner

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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Read a Book.

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings? whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 bee stings? No! The holicost Whats worse than the holicost? What? 3 Bee stings

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How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're people to you know...

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What is the difference between a horse? All the legs are of same length, especially the back ones.

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Robin, get in the car!

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What did Selena Gomez say to JB? We're breaking up cuz u smell like French fries and you look like a poop

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An Englishman, A Scotsman, a Welshman, an Australian, An American, A German, A Swede, A Kiwi, An Austrian, A Belgian, A Frenchman, A Chinese Guy, An Indian, A Turk, A Czech, A Canadaian, A Russian, A serbian, A Portuguese, A brazilian, An Argentine and a South African go in to a bar. The Security stops them and says "I'm sorry i can't let you in without a thai"

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A teenage girl was texting and driving, didn't see it, and now it's roadkill.

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Time flies an arrow. Fruit flies like banana.

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Your momma's so stupid, she threw out all the W's in the m&m's packet

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why did the golfer ware two ares of paents. if he got a hole in one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops