hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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What does Steven Hawking and Justin Bieber have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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Exercise Ex - Er - Cise Ex - Ar - Size.. Eggs Are Sides For bacon.. BACON

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

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A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops