Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

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Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

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I got into an argument with my friend the other day. He contested that the onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I beat his wife to death with a coconut,

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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Poker face

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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a man checks his mypsace

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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What's hard, long and screws a blond? An IQ test.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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How many tacos does it take to feed an angry person? You better tacover it!

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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