if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

When the boy cried wolf who heard him? Not Helen Keller

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

knock knock whos there? nobody

whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

your mamma so dumb she makes frankienstien look smart

A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

what does the muslim guy say in a very busy metro station? jaallalalalalalalalla BAM

Barack Obama.

Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

This is the same thing you told me once, believe me, it helps holding into it.

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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