The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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Your mom is so poor She will soon have to make the difficult decision whether or not to put you up for adoption

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Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

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Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

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What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

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roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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Q: What's worse than ten babies tied to ten trees? A: One baby tied to ten trees.

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Name three similarities between racism and sexism I, S and M

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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What's gay black & Jewish? The Ku Klux Klan

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Roses are crimson. Violets are purple. I don't understand why this poem is so popular.

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

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Why was a white man surrounded by black men crying? He was in a support group for black men with vitiligo, which destroys skin pigments.

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Why did the boy fail his midterm? he didnt study.

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe

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What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

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What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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