What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Remember Y2K? That could have been bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a guy with aids? Your dad

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats worse than spilling the milk? Getting raped by the easter bunny.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the man go to prison? he was a serial rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm Animals

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats funnier than Dane Cook. The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Based on every event that ever happened on Earth, where is a terrorist most likely to plant a bomb? Site B. Many more people play CS:GO than attempt to bomb any real-world location. Site A is a close second.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whos gay and sits next to me? Griffen in my architecture class

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the donkey say "Shit sorry I had no idea" Because the batteries shouted: "Nobody told me about your actions here, sorry for the terrible coding format, I am new"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops