I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

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The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

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what do kids take their lunch in to school. that depends if they buy lunch at school... otherwise they bring it in a lunchbox...

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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The first train go fowards at 250 mph, and the second train takes a left, how many pancakes are on my rooftop? - The answer is purple because aliens don't dribk coffee

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Yo mamma so fat when I searched her on the internet, I got 28,000,000 results

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knock knock..... ding dong...... knock knock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they weren't home

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What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

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What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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Why is a cookie like a jellyfish? Because it has no bones. (Contributed by my 4-year old boy)

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

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Q: whats the difference between 3 asain people 3 black people and 3 mexican prople?? A: there all different nationality

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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