How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? You wouldn't be able to count them if it were dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Když si to Nikolas ,dejme tomu že Bihary, you know nuseng.. hahahahaha

thumb_up thumb_down -18

One, two, three, four and five

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walked into a bar, and clutched his stomach in pain as it was a steel bar and it hurts when you walk right into a steel bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call an african american child that hasn't eaten in a week? hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between cat and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats worse than one bee? Two bees. Whats worse than two bees? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bees.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A new born baby is left alone in his crib after a long day of playing, He gets taken out of his crib for his first meal with his grandparents, he is excited, His grandparents come in and after the usual praising of the child they sit down for dinner, They are having chicken, His mother puts the spoon to his mouth, He chews it and swallows it, It gets stuck in his throat and he suffocates and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

thumb_up thumb_down -18

My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

#So tell me what you want, what you really really want, so tell me what you want, what you really really want.# OhOk then. I'll take that photo of your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

thumb_up thumb_down -18

There is a mountain and there are three men, One is asian and the two others are black and white. "This is for my people!" Said the asian man when he was falling for his death. "This is for my people!" Yelled the african american. Then he takes the American man and throws him off the mountain

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If you'd turn to page 43 you will find the homework. Have a good weekend!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops