A blind man walks into a bar. Another man asks him if hes ever seen the new movie that came out. he then replies, "i heard it" then curled up into a ball and cries for several hours.

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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say it ten times fast: oh

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Quaint? Oh yeah? YOU ARE QUAINT! No seriously, whats that word all about.

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what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

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how do u have sex with a really hot girl who is not interested in you? Rape her in a dark ally

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

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Roses are red violets are blue, your library book is overdue, and if you dont pay the fine...i'll punch you in the mouth.

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Why is Michael Jackson a bad chess player? Because he's dead.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

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When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

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mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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So Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station....

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Why did so many describe Billy as glued to the t.v.? A terrible case of bullying and superglue resulted in the inability of Billy to remove himself from his own t.v., causing immense feelings of revenge, but his inability to move left these feelings unfulfilled.

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Your Mom is so fat she's Fat

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Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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