You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

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What does society have in common with laundry? They both get ruined when you mix colors with whites.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

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Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

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What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

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What's do you call a prostitute in a hospital? A concerned parent.

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What did the frog say to the other frog Your a chode

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A worm in your apple.

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There are two eggs sitting in a carton in the refrigerator. The first egg says, "Sure is cold in here, eh?" The second egg replies, "Holy crap! A talking egg!"

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Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

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What happens to an elephant when it rains? It gets wet.

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how old is god? i don't know thats why i'm asking you. by: Brennan pickrell

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was tired of hearing that joke

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How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How am I supposed to know?

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? He didn't make it that far...

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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What do a blonde and a good beer have in common? They both go down easy.

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How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

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You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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What kind of coffee did they drink on the Titanic? They didn't. They all died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops