How do u wake up lady gaga You go into her room and yell at her

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

Why did the TV not turn off? You need to use a remote.

How do you make a baby stop crying? Drown it in vinegar.

Why couldn't Jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

Where's my tractor?

There is a law in california that says that women are not allowed to drive with house coats.

Why did andy fall down Because his friend pushed him over

Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

Christanity One Womans Excuse of Not Having an Affair Got Totaly Out of Hand

What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

What do you say to seduce a woman? Is that a mustache? WTF!

Roses are red Violets are blue Start running Cuz ima F*** you Runn Forest Runn! Jubie

What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

Did you hear the one about the girl who had three nipples? Neither did I.

Why did the welshman cross the road? To violently hump sheep.

Your mom is so fat, she had a heart attack and died. It was very sad and she will be missed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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