Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than a dog peeing on your new flower garden? A terrorist attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

LOVING BIRD DIEING BIRD DO NOT FLY AWAY

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not? --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what's the difference between me and callum ? a couple of miles.... and id like to keep it that way

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats better than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees whats better than 1 baby nailed to 10 trees? 10 trees nailed to 1 baby

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q. What's rare, horny, and a myth towards most guys who have never seen one? A. A Unicorn.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Who would win in a fight between superman and flash? Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why does Santa live in the north pole? Because his spicy body fat keeps him warm.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the difference between Jesus and the Pope. Jesus died 2 thousand years ago

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

thumb_up thumb_down +1

OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruising at about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, the cops were waiting. He was found guilty in court and forced to pay the blonde a settlement of $250, 000.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, Violets are blue, your parents are dead they never loved you! I found this one on facebook and i just found this site and all yall got some good jokes LOL

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops