*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

What do you get when you cross a rainbow with a unicorn, baby, helmet, a bag of sugar, some watermelons, and a jewish guy's hair? A rainbow unicorn baby helmet with a bag of sugar and some watermelons. and some jewish guy's hair.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's

Nero, sure you are okay?

There was an elephant , a bird, a man, a tree, a cat, a dog, a lion, a horse, a cow, a pig, a duck, a lemon, a turnip, an apple, a rabbit, a slice of pizza and a spoon. I just wasted around 8 seconds of your life

There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

Q:what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? A:get in the batmobile

what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

Knock knock It's open, come in

Why was the man worried? because he had a shotgun up his ass

John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Rocky was chasing him

How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

A rapist and a little child walk through a dark forest. The little child says: "It's scary here." Rapist answers: "Tell me about, I gotta go back alone through here."

Q- what's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A- you take of your shoes to jump on a trampoline

Best reaction to Anti-humor joke me: whats green and has wheels Friend: idk Me: Grass i lied about the wheels Friend:wow dick

What is the biggest killer in America? Death.

No it doesnt..

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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