What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

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Whats a movie? A moving picture.

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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Why didn't the man walk done the stairs? Because he had no legs

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someone jumped off a bridge he died

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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If a tree fell in the forest, and no one was around to hear it, would you like a cupcake?

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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What is worse than going to school? Nothing.

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How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

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what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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Q.-What's the difference between broccoli and a dead moose? A.-Yes.

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When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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What did the Doctor say to the patient. You have AIDS The patient took out a machete and stabbed the Doctor. The Doctor died. Two weeks later, the patient died of AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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