How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Why are black people afraid of tigers? Because tigers eat people

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

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what do you call a rich, gay guy from Florida? Iron man

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Why does Gandalf have special powers? Because Dumbledore died.

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Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

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how do you poke a chinese person in the eye? with a credit card!

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because the paint used on their faces makes the extra terrestrials leery of lead poisoning.

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Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

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Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

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Did you hear about the guy with five penises? Me neither, because that sounds like a very improbable aberration.

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Burp

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what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

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If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

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What did the young Muslim man have attached to him? A book-bag, it was is his first week college and he eager for an education.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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When is the only time you see a Mexican and Black person driving together ? When they feel like it .

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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